Friday, March 9, 2012

25 years ago my mother died from Alzheimer's disease.

From my sister Madeline the other day on facebook_

"Today is March 6th. 25 years ago today, my mother left this earth and moved into heaven. She was 69 (5 days short of her 70th birthday) and I was 29. For almost the last 10 years of her life-she did not know who her children were. She lived in a very good nursing home with wonderful care. When she was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease in 1980-no one had heard of it except my physician brothers and sister in law who was a medical geneticist. You learn how cruel life really can be when your parent asks you who you are. I tried to do everything I could to fight against Alzheimers-(became the youngest board member of the Alzehimer's Association, gave trainings and talks- everything physically possible to annihilate this killer disease. Now those words are a part of the American fabric.
I only found out something so special about her last year. When I was a teenager, I spent a total of two years on the adolescent medical floor at St Vincent Hospital in Erie. (My parents had met there when my father was an intern and my mother worked there and volunteered for decades there.) Last year, while perusing through her scrapbooks-I found that she had been the president of the Hospital Guild when they raised funds to open an adolescent unit. She never once mentioned that to me. Nor was it she that told me that she used to play the organ at the Warner theater in Erie to go along with the films in the 1930’s. So many things I can never ask her about.
Everyone felt her kindness and caring and how loved her life so much-as a wife,mother, daughter,musician, community volunteer and so many other roles. My greatest sadness in life was not to have parents around as an adult-how lucky people are that could have this kind of relationship-truly a gift. My luckiest gift was to have had the parents I did even though it was for a short time. Luckily, my parents named me after my sweet mother-We were the two Madges. God bless Madeline Mary Mentz Sivak-March 11, 1917-March 6, 1987.

Madeline Sivak "It was so heartwrenching painful to try to explain to people what was wrong with my mother-as if dealing with it at 20 wasnt hard enough-the insensitivty of most people was what now I consider amzaing seeing how AD is now-"TRENDY DISEASE". obviously we might have what you call bitter feelings-I just don't think we can ever get rid of them it was such a heartwrenching decade."



How I'm feeling about it all lately.....


"a quarter of a century of broken heartedness now and a piece of yourself and your very fabric, identity and self-worth ripped from you slowly and sadistically unrelenting-thats what AD in a parent does to you as a kid, (despite all the hope and positve spin BS on the disease), and then you cover the wound that never really heals and limp through life- Thats Alzheimers disease, and nobody really cares becouse it is too icky to talk about, until it happens to them. Then they want to know how you got through it, so you say "I tried to tell you, don't you see? This is why I am like I am" I so wish I had something to offer them. I promise Alzheimer's in a family member does not make you stronger- it weakens and chronically wounds you. Sorry"

Monday, February 20, 2012

Glenn Campbell and Alzheimer's Disease -Music as a Gift for AD

Was watching Fox News the other night (because I watch Fox News, and I am not ashamed) anyway they had an AD special on and were talking about Glenn Campbell. He of course has AD and is still touring. It was wonderful to see. Music is fantastic, it permeates the temporal lobe and the memory long term and the personality. It soothes the soul. It seems to be preserved as a memory longer than almost any other entity or medium.
Leeza Gibbons was also interviewed along with Maria Schriver. Leeza is an incredible spokesperson, and presented wonderful metaphor about the primary caregiver being the first rsponder iin an emergency. I really wish she was more of a National Spokesperson for AD. She does not seem too political and very kind, (not sure if that precludes someone from a position like that, but she is a wonderful advocate. You could feel the emotion and pain in both her and Maria, just below the camera interview surface. I have always maintained that if it is 1 year or 100 years that the pain of AD in a loved one the heartbreak never really goes away, but you do go on.
Anyways I love Glenn Campbell, this is a wonderful action to tour and raise awareness that people with AD are just that- PEOPLE.
My son will be going to several nursing homes in the Duluth area and playing guitar and Piano for the residents. Again nothing better than music. He is 16 years old and I am not able to emphasize to him how lonely many residents are and how powerful music is and what a gift he has in music to be able to do this.
His grandmother my mother died from AD five years before he was born.

Talking about the book with the Lake Superior wind....... a calm day